1 00:00:01,479 --> 00:00:03,394 Oh, and it's a huge slam dunk, and a timeout. 2 00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:04,961 I'm Chris Straightman, and with me as always 3 00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:06,832 is John "Mr. Positive" Hanson. 4 00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:09,139 Mr. Positive, this team is getting stomped. 5 00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,575 What can they do to turn it around? 6 00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:13,361 Well, Chris, anytime you got 10 guys on the court, 7 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:16,277 fans in the stands, two hoops, and a coach at either bench, 8 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:19,541 it's hard not to say, "That's basketball!" 9 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:22,892 Well, as always, 10% information and 90% personality from John. 10 00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:24,981 And we are under way here as... 11 00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,635 Oh, no! 12 00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:27,984 Some sort of demon has rushed the court 13 00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:30,639 and taken the referee's arms. 14 00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:31,422 There he is! 15 00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:32,684 Take 'em, Gar! 16 00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:34,817 Gary takes the court and boom! 17 00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:37,037 Ka-boom! 18 00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:42,738 Oh, hell, yes. 19 00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,653 T-shirt giveaway. 20 00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:50,093 Wow, these things are an accident waiting to happen. 21 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:53,096 Any last words, you little motherfucker? 22 00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:56,230 Fleshler says, "Hi." 23 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,188 What a twist. 24 00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:00,103 The demon killing himself after a hard-fought battle. 25 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:04,325 I'll say it again, Chris. This is basketball! 26 00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:06,240 No, it is not. 27 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:16,467 So who's this Fleshler guy that demon was talking about, Gar? 28 00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,034 Hanley, have I ever told you about the day I asked 29 00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,601 Janine to marry me? 30 00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:21,342 No. 31 00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:24,258 Well, the year was 1999. 32 00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,695 Could you give a message to my kids for me? 33 00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:29,219 Janine and I were inseparable. 34 00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:35,051 Before we fight, Mr. Code, have you ever heard of... philosophy? 35 00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,748 Tell me. 36 00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:42,711 Oh, my God! 37 00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:46,149 What are you talking about? 38 00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:47,716 That was the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. 39 00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,587 Okay, I'm not saying it was the best movie I've ever seen, 40 00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:50,762 but I really, really liked it. 41 00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,286 What's wrong with that? 42 00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:53,330 What did you like about it? 43 00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:56,246 I liked when everything slowed down in time 44 00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,508 and then you could see everything. 45 00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:58,596 Code time. 46 00:01:58,596 --> 00:01:59,945 You like when it went into code time? 47 00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:00,685 Oh, wait, wait, wait. 48 00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,165 What? 49 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,123 I think that dog is rescreening your favourite part 50 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:03,993 of the movie right now. 51 00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,821 What? Oh, Gary, come on. 52 00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:06,865 Don't make me look at that. 53 00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,171 I think that dog's in code time. 54 00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:09,607 Oh, my God. 55 00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:11,740 Look how long it's taking for it to push that shit 56 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:12,741 out of its ass. 57 00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:15,439 That actually looks... Oh, that dog's not well. 58 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:15,961 Oh, man. 59 00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,093 What do you wanna do now? 60 00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,399 Um... 61 00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:19,922 Okay. I know what to do. 62 00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:20,618 Tell me. 63 00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:20,792 You know what to do. 64 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:21,532 Yes, I do. 65 00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:21,967 We know what to do. 66 00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:22,968 Yes, I do. 67 00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:25,884 Swing dancing! 68 00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:28,191 Fucking losers! 69 00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:30,411 ♪ Swing music's back and it's here to stay! ♪ 70 00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,543 ♪ It's not a fad and it's not a trend! ♪ 71 00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:34,850 ♪ It's something I've invested in! ♪ 72 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,113 ♪ Lots of money, I'm in debt! ♪ 73 00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:38,375 ♪ I'm in debt! 74 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:39,985 ♪ So let's swing dance! 75 00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:41,204 Those swing lessons were the best investment 76 00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,118 we ever made, baby. 77 00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:43,641 You said it! 78 00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,817 Swing music's back and it's not going anywhere. 79 00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:48,255 It's not going anywhere! 80 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,386 Oops. Sorry about that. 81 00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,649 You will be. 82 00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,042 I...am? 83 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:53,912 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 84 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:54,565 What did you fucking say? 85 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:55,131 Gary... 86 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,263 No, it's okay. It's okay. 87 00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,439 I'm not gonna freak out. I just wanna... 88 00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,571 I just wanna know what he said, and if he said what I think 89 00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:02,791 he said, well, then, I'm going to beat the shit out of him. 90 00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:03,792 Okay, whoa, Gary. 91 00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:06,011 I'll kill you and your bitch. 92 00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,579 Oh, my God. Are you kidding me right now? 93 00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,233 You had one ally here, buddy. 94 00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,669 Excuse me? 95 00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,018 I was trying to play peacekeeper here, you asshole. 96 00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,716 She was on your side, you fucking idiot. 97 00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,021 What are you gonna do about it? 98 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,241 What am I gonna do about it? 99 00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,460 Oh, you're demons. 100 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,810 Well, that actually changes a bit. 101 00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:22,811 Beat his ass, Gary. 102 00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,160 Yes, I will. I will. 103 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,596 Calm down. Holy shit. 104 00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:27,729 Okay, Janine, you wanna lay down the ground rules? 105 00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:30,862 Rule number one: the fight has already started. 106 00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,475 What a team. The bait-and-switch. 107 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:37,521 Distracter and the ball kicker. An unstoppable duo. 108 00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:38,174 Yeah. 109 00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:40,394 And away we go! 110 00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:41,525 ♪ Well, my wife doesn't know ♪ 111 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:42,526 ♪ that I mortgaged the house! ♪ 112 00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:45,050 ♪ To fund our latest album! ♪ 113 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,096 ♪ She'd leave me if she knew! ♪ 114 00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:48,358 ♪ She'd take the kids...! 115 00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:49,968 Janine, you want to say something now? 116 00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:51,274 Table for one. 117 00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:52,536 Uh... you wanna try... 118 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,625 You wanna try just one more time? 119 00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,714 Um... this guy's cut off. 120 00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:58,890 Oh, yeah! Yes! 121 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,109 There it is! 122 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:03,330 Ha! Yep. 123 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:08,204 Fleshler will find out about this. 124 00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,772 Whatever that means. 125 00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,861 All right, how'd I do, baby? 126 00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:15,342 You were okay. I think I was pretty good. 127 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:18,127 Yes, you were. You were good. 128 00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:19,694 Yeah, even when I was fighting demons, 129 00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:22,131 Janine made everything feel good. 130 00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:27,789 But that was nothing compared to our chemistry in... the bedroom. 131 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,968 Oh, Gary. 132 00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,709 I love you, Janine. 133 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:37,102 I love you, Gar. 134 00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:46,024 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 135 00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:48,026 oh, my God! 136 00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:49,767 Gary! Gary, enough! 137 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:50,507 We were humping like this. 138 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:51,073 We were sort of humping like this. 139 00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:53,423 We were like... 140 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,033 Yeah, okay, Gary. I get the picture. 141 00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,774 You made love. 142 00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:57,819 That's right, Hanley. 143 00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:58,341 We did it all. 144 00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,343 Her on top. Me on top. 145 00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:03,564 69, 96, that's when the back of your head touches her calves, 146 00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,566 you're kind of like, "Is this sex?" 147 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:09,961 Finally we finished, and then right back to it. 148 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:12,486 And we were like, "Oh, my God! Oh, my..." 149 00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:13,530 Gary! Please! 150 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:14,749 Enough! 151 00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:16,925 Let the man tell his story. 152 00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,622 The next morning should have kicked off 153 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,711 the best day of my life. 154 00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:23,714 Instead it was the worst. 155 00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:27,022 Janine, wake up! 156 00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:32,593 Time for French toast with a side of forever. 157 00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:36,858 Janine? 158 00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:39,948 "Dear Gary, I have your girlfriend." 159 00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,228 "Ok. 160 00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,534 I guess that's it." 161 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:04,407 "Yours, Fleshler." 162 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:07,236 Janine! 163 00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:08,324 Hey! 164 00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,196 Some of us are trying to sleep. 165 00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,024 Fuck you, Terry! It's noon. 166 00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,200 Get a job. 167 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,073 I've been looking. 168 00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,988 Turns out Fleshler was some hot new demon on the scene 169 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:22,860 who owned a club downtown. 170 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:29,998 Old Gary was going clubbing. 171 00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:34,437 Excuse me, does this door lead into F Club? 172 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:35,046 Yeah, that feels like a yes. 173 00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:38,876 Whoa! Oh! 174 00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:39,790 I don't know what they're playing in there, 175 00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:43,620 but out here it's chin music, baby. 176 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:46,362 I guess that one's just for me. Okay. 177 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:52,150 All right, Fleshler, where are you hiding? 178 00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,504 Ah, crap. 179 00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:00,158 You got him? Ooh, that's good news. 180 00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,813 Darvon, do you mind going and checking downstairs 181 00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:05,033 and seeing how it's going down there? 182 00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,817 Ooh, and while you're down there, do you mind grabbing me 183 00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:10,604 one of those um... flesh juices from the fridge? 184 00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,823 They're so good. Should I, though? 185 00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,434 No, yes. Get me one. 186 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,913 Get me a flesh juice from the fridge, 187 00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,480 just one of the ones on the bottom ones. 188 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,786 The diet ones. 189 00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:19,961 And Janine, do you... Do you want anything? 190 00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,049 Fuck you. 191 00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,530 Okay, so yeah, just the flesh juice for me then. 192 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,228 So here's what I'm thinking. 193 00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:27,969 Holy guacamole! 194 00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:28,752 Gary! 195 00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,101 Janine! Oh, thank God. 196 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:31,276 Fuck him up, Gary. 197 00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:32,277 I'm gonna. I'm gonna. 198 00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,279 I'm gonna kick his goddamn dick off. 199 00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:35,455 Easy, chosen one. 200 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,500 We don't want anyone losing their heads. 201 00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,764 Do you think Darvon's actually okay? 202 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,897 You really kicked the shit out of him. 203 00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,899 That is nothing compared to what I... 204 00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:47,292 What you'll do to me, yes, right. 205 00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:48,642 I can't blame you. 206 00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,644 I did kidnap your girlfriend on the day 207 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:51,993 you were going to propose. 208 00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:54,474 Hey, man, come on! What the f... 209 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,214 Gary, you... you were? 210 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,302 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 211 00:07:57,302 --> 00:07:59,870 He put the ring in some French toast. 212 00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:00,436 Don't. 213 00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:00,915 It was so cute. 214 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,483 I worry about, you know, choking and that kind of thing but... 215 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,658 No one was going to choke. 216 00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:06,529 Well, you could have. 217 00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:11,839 Listen, I'm a reasonable demon. All I want is to protect my kin. 218 00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:15,320 So, chosen one, give me your sword and walk away. 219 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,367 I'll make sure you're never hassled by demons again. 220 00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:21,065 That is the Fleshler guarantee. 221 00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:22,153 Gary, no. 222 00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:22,980 Come on. 223 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:24,808 A life of peace with the one you love 224 00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:28,377 or a pointless existence battling demons... alone. 225 00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:29,900 No. Keep your sword, Gary. 226 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,468 Please, the world's more important than I am. 227 00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:36,907 Janine, I respectfully disagree. 228 00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,042 Ooh, right on! 229 00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:42,696 Janine, just out of curiosity, 230 00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:45,916 what would you have said to Gary's proposal? 231 00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:46,482 Yes. 232 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:47,309 Aw. 233 00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,833 Aw, that is so cool. 234 00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,748 That's nice. How's that feel, Gary? 235 00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,620 Pretty good I bet. 236 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,144 I love a "yes." 237 00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:00,278 How's that feel? Yeah, feels good to me! 238 00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:03,891 Wow, that was awesome. 239 00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,850 Okay. 240 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:09,723 Nighty-night, Gary boy. 241 00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:55,246 I rushed Janine to the hospital, but by then it was too late. 242 00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:57,379 I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. 243 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,599 Jeez, Gary. 244 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,601 I'm so sorry, buddy. 245 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,037 Is that the first time you ever... 246 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,473 Controlled anything with my mind? 247 00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:06,388 Sure was. 248 00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,042 First and last. 249 00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,043 Right, well... 250 00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:11,785 I mean, regardless of what this demon said, 251 00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,656 there's no way Fleshler could be back. 252 00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:15,440 You killed him. I mean, he's dead. 253 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,312 I hope you're right, Hanley. 254 00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:19,096 If there's one thing I've learned about these demons, 255 00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:22,012 they always find a way to come back. 256 00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:24,841 Come on, let's get this guy to a hospital. 257 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,538 How you feeling, buddy? 258 00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,453 Oh, shit. He's dead. 259 00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:29,716 He's dead. Okay. 260 00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:32,109 Okay, that's a perfect capper. 261 00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:34,372 Come on, help me wheel him out. 262 00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:36,505 Good Lord. 263 00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,712 Oh, yes. 264 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,193 I'm back.